


oh baby girl don't get cut on my edges

by turnandchasethewind



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:08:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9564362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnandchasethewind/pseuds/turnandchasethewind
Summary: a collection of drabbles for julia/marina, prompts listed at the beginning of each chapter





	1. and there is grey between the lines

**Author's Note:**

> "Come home with me."

“What did you do to me?”

Marina has a cigarette already on its way to her lips when she sees Julia sitting on the bench outside the bar, smoking a a cigarette herself. It’s one of many - if the several cigarette butts pooling at her feet indicate anything - and Marina makes her swooping glance to the spot by Julia’s tattered combat boots seem as nonchalant as possible.

It’s dark out - way past closing time but with her kind of power and pull, time is just a construct she can bend to her will - and if it weren’t for the dim street light illuminating the outside of the dive bar she would have almost missed her. The small quiver in the cold, night air. The crack that Marina would bet her life is tearing something deep inside of Julia. Magicians like Julia come around once in a lifetime, and she’s not something quite easy to forget. There’s no missing that voice.

Marina regards her for a moment, taking a little longer than necessary to grab the lighter from her purse, carefully bringing it up to mouth. The last thing she wants is to have Julia notice the tremble of her hand at the sight of her. 

After what she’s sure seems to be a dramatic amount of time she finally lights her cigarette and takes a long drag, crossing the few steps in front of Julia and sitting beside her. Not too close, her large purse a nice barrier to all the things left unsaid between them.

“I did what you asked.” She plays with the hem of her jacket, a nervous tick that luckily the streetlight in front of them has the decency not to illuminate. Another drag. “I take it I didn’t do that good of a job if you’re asking these questions.”

There’s a scoff and the sounds of tobacco burning, the soft trail of smoke a cloud in her peripheral. It’s the first familiar thing about Julia in this entire interaction and it gives Marina the permission to breathe a little easier. 

Julia still stares straight ahead as she speaks, “Why did you do it if you knew that you couldn’t do it right?”

“It’s a little late in the evening for constructive criticism, Julia.”

“How convenient.” A pause. “You’re not the one who has to live with it.”

“Believe me, I do.”

“No, you don’t. Not like me.”

“You’re right.” She sighs. Finishes her cigarette and replaces it with a new one in almost the same breath. “I don’t.”

The answer must satisfy her because there’s no follow-up questions. No blame or criticisms or projected anger. Just the two of them sitting alone, unsure whether it’s the cold or the silence that feels more chilling. Usually she can deal with silence; it’s where she lives, it’s where she feels the most powerful. To command a room of people with just a look, elicit that kind of fear and control over an entire group - it’s addicting and it’s comforting. But this? Nothing about this feels comfortable. For once she understands how people can feel suffocated by silence, how everything about it screams louder than any words they could possibly exchange.

“I’m looking for him.” 

(Leave it to Julia to bring her back to her place of comfort.)

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“I wasn’t looking for permission.”

“Aren’t you though?” It gets Julia to look at her, but the questions held behind her curious eyes don’t stop her from continuing. “That’s why you’re here. You want me to tell you it’s okay. That it’s the right thing to do. That it’s the _smart_ thing to do. You need guidance and despite your better judgement, you know I’m someone who can help. Otherwise, why else would you end up in front of one of the shittiest dive bars in the city that you _know_  I frequent?”

Julia crosses her arms, in what ends up being the weakest attempt to try and look tough that Marina has to forcibly stop herself from smiling in pity. Luckily, Julia doesn’t notice. “Maybe I was just looking for a drink.”

“Well, I do find drinking helps.”

“With this?”

“With everything. Why narrow it down?”

It evokes a smile out of her and Marina imagines it’s the first smile Julia has had in a while. It’s the almost undetectable way it looks slightly out of place on her. Like it’s out of practice. Like she’s breaking it in, stretching it out and working on making it familiar again.

It’s the first thing that has been able to quell the growing weight of worry that has been gnawing at Marina’s insides ever since that night not so long ago. Which is a relief because she doesn’t do well with worry.

(Like she said, drinking helps.)

“Just - come home with me.” There’s a softness she’s not used to giving but she of all people know there’s a time and a place for kindness. It’s not something she had the priviledge of receiving but she may as well offer it up from time to time. Karma, she supposes. If something as trivial as that exists. 

Julia raises her eyebrows at her and Marina holds her head high, matching it with a grin. It’s not exactly what she meant, but she’ll let Julia make whatever assumptions she wants; the last thing Marina wants to do is give her a complex about how desirable she is.

“Wasn’t really looking for _that_  from you, Marina.”

Marina shrugs it off, the smile never leaving her lips. “Oh well, the offer stands for whenever you decide it is what you’re looking for.”

It’s a good enough place to end a conversation that could probably go on for hours, so she takes it as her chance to gather her things and get up to start to walk home. Julia looks well enough and despite that unfamiliar claw of worry scraping inside of her, she convinces herself that she’ll be okay on her own.

She’s only a few feet away when she hears a quick scuff of boots and looks over to see Julia by her side. She looks at her with slight intrigue.

“Did you really think I was going to come all this way without asking more questions?”

Marina smiles at the sight of the all too familiar fire behind Julia’s eyes and just continues to push forwad, all of those answers able to wait until they’re somewhere warm and preferably with more alcohol. She can indulge in a little bit of silence this time around. 


	2. see you on a dark night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let go."

The loud banging echoes through the apartment. It’s been going like this for a few minutes and all hope Marina had of it stopping is slowly dissolving. The knocks only increase in force and volume that she has half a mind to wonder if the person is _intending_ to ruin her door. 

With all the reluctance in the world, she makes her way to the front of her apartment, stopping short of the door without checking to see who is there. She holds her head high and channels all of her frustration into a tone that she has no doubt will scare the shit out of whoever is on the other side.

“If I wanted you in my apartment then I would have let you in by now. Fuck off before I come out there and make you regret it.”

The banging stops.

She smiles to herself and while riding on the high of the small victory she turns to walk back to the couch; she only makes it a few steps when a soft sound stops her in her tracks.

“It’s me.”

Even through the muffled barrier of the door she can recognize that voice. She could probably recognize that voice anywhere.

She glances at her watch. It’s late - too late for whatever this visit might entail - but curiosity wins out in the end and she takes a glance through the peep hole. Julia is standing there, looking directly into the lens as if she just knows Marina is looking back. 

She opens the door a crack and leans against it, enough smarts to know she should block the entrance. Just in case.

“It’s late.”

“I know. I couldn’t sleep.”

Marina smiles, free and playful, despite the feeling of dread that’s been hovering over them the second she opened the door. It’s far too late for anything good to come of this visit and they both know it.

“So you thought you’d come wake me up. Oh, how I do love the way you think, Julia.”

Julia shrugs, but the crossed arms and defiant stare can’t hide the bags under her eyes. It tugs somewhere unfamiliar in Marina’s chest. 

“Doesn’t look like you were sleeping.” Julia is looking past her shoulder before meeting her eyes again, all the markings of a bad idea held in one look. “Let’s have a drink.”

“Although I have no doubts that Stanley would open his bar to me at any time of night, I’m not really in the mood.”

It’s Julia’s turn to smile, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Who said we had to go out for one?”

Marina shifts her position against the door, trying not to sigh. “Julia, you should leave.”

“Why?” 

She’s closer than before, Marina unable to ignore the space between them any longer. The anger is back, smoldering beneath the surface. Caged and waiting to be released. Marina can practically feel it off of her. 

It’s all too much to deal with, so without the decency of a response she shakes her head and moves to close the door in her face. Julia reaches forward in time to stop her, slamming her palm against the door and holding it open.

“Stop.” It’s a warning, but whether she intended it for Julia or herself she isn’t sure. “Julia, I’m serious.”

“Don’t be a bitch.”

“And don’t be a fucking inconvenience.”

There’s more pressure against the door, but Marina is hardly putting in the full effort to stop her. The look on Julia’s face after a moment shows that she’s put the pieces together.

“You’re strong enough to make me stop.”

“I am.” Marina jaw sets. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Sure you do. I see the way you look at me. So just do it.” Julia spits it out like a challenge, searching Marina’s eyes for any sign of weakness, but Marina just sighs in response.

“Julia, what did you come here for?”

There’s no easy way to answer that - if Julia’s silence is any indication - so she gives her the space to continue. It isn’t until something in her expression cracks that Julia answers.

“There’s no one left. Q is stuck in Fillory. Kady is,” Julia lets out a laugh that sounds like nothing is funny at all. “She’s God knows where. Everyone is - they’re all-” 

She stops mid sentence, like the thought of even breathing another word will somehow make it more real than it already is. It forces Marina to open the door a little more, letting her step a little closer. If she’s close enough Julia might not have to say those words at all. 

“Please.” The softness seeping through Julia’s voice feels wrong in a way Marina never thought possible, but it does enough to stop her from looking away. “Help me forget.”

“That kind of magic - I don’t know if I can do that again-”

“I’m not talking about a spell.”

Julia presses into her a little further, with a bit more purpose this time. It’s enough to make contact, Julia trailing her hand along Marina’s waist. Marina stares at her, torn between the voices in her head screaming at her to move away and the pull in her stomach moving her even closer. She closes her eyes as she feels Julia’s other hand grasping at her hips.

“Julia," she hopes her voice sounds more convincing than she feels. “Let go.”

That look of defiance has shifted into a plea and Marina knows that if anyone is going to put a stop to this it has to be her. She has to be the sensible one to keep some sort of order between them.

The only problem? She’s never been one to play by the rules.

Julia’s lips are fire and ice against her mouth, pressing hard and fast. Like the moment will collapse at any second. Like Julia will collapse at any second.

She wants to be gentle but old habits die hard. Her teeth are like knives as she finds herself biting down on Julia’s lips, instantly drawing blood. She imagines it matches the shade that has been painting her hands lately. All of her mistakes always there for her to see. All the ways she pushed Julia away. All the ways she let Julia down. All the ways she had a hand in allowing this to happen.

Sometimes she wonders if she’ll ever be able to wash her hands clean. 

Before she can focus too much on the guilt, Julia pushes them inside the apartment and she decides she can worry about clearing her conscience another day.


End file.
